Monday, December 8, 2008

My Mom

31 years ago today my mom died.

So today I am thankful for the 5 years I got to spend with her and for all the memories I have of her. My mom was kind and never yelled. I only remember one time that she was mad. We were up the street at her friend's house and while we were walking home I saw a puddle and sat in it. (She probably told me not to and I did anyway.) She was so mad that she sent me to bed without dinner.

I remember trying to trick my mom every morning by saying I couldn't finish my oatmeal and then when she would come in the kitchen I would surprise her with an empty bowl.

I remember walking to kindergarten with her and other neighbors. All of us kids would run ahead and hide behind the building across the street from school and then jump out to surprise our mommies.

I remember my mom watched Sanford and Son and Days of Our Lives.

My mom always fixed my hair so cute...and different everyday.

I remember wearing a "C is for Cookie" Cookie Monster shirt and making flavored shaved icees at my gram's house with my mom.

I know some of you know the story and some of you want to know but were hesitant to ask. This is what I remember from the night she died: We all ate dinner at the kitchen table and when we were done my mom said she was tired and she was going to sit in the other room. My dad and I cleaned up the kitchen and did the dishes. When we went into the other room we thought my mom was sleeping in the chair. My dad realized she wasn't and put her on the ground and started doing CPR. He had me call the ambulance...but the number was busy. I kept dialing but it was always busy. (I probably wasn't dialing correctly.) My dad had me lay down on the floor with my hands above my head. My sister was just sitting in a nearby chair. She was 3 months old. The paramedics finally came. I remember watching a Christmas show on TV with either a neighbor lady or my gram. My mom never came home.

After that I don't really have a lot of memories. I know that my kindergarten teacher switched my part in the Christmas play to the Angel Gabriel.

I know that I was sad. I was also jealous of all the attention my sister got. Then and years after. People felt sorry for her b/c she never got to know my mom. But it was really hard on me b/c I had all that time with her.

I miss my mom. There were so many times when I needed her or wanted to share things with her. When I was a kid and I got a wish (on a birthday candle, shooting star, going through the yellow light...) I would always wish for her to come back. I guess I still wish that. I am so sad that she isn't here to be with Cole.

Here are two pictures of my mom.

This is my mom after she had can see part of me on the bed!

This is my 3rd Christmas. (Those are the ornaments I was talking about!!!!!)


Jen said...

Your mom would be so proud of the mommy that you are! I wish that you had a liftetime of memories with your mom, but the few that you have are so special and sharing them helps create a bond between her and your sweet boy!

On a lighter note ... slap some pony tails on Cole and BAM! Toddler Amy!!

Lori said...

That is so touching, Amy. I think it's wonderful that you have all those memories of your mom to cherish forever. You mentioned that your mom was kind and never yelled. That is definitely a trait she has passed on to you. I admire you for how you discipline Cole with such kindness, but always get your point across! Your mom would be so proud of you!!

Sophie-and-Bryce said...

i agree, amy ~ i certainly believe that she'd be so incredibly proud of the mother you are to cole.


Nicole said...

Amy, this is a touching story. It is amazing you have so many vivid memories from that young, but I know it was a hard situation for you. You are very strong!! Your mother would be proud.

Regina said...

My heart goes out to you at the thought of you losing your mom and also of your mom losing you guys at such a young age. I cannot imagine the pain and the sadness you have from losing her. May all your Christmases be joy filled and blessed. You derserve it! And ditto what Lori said. Yell at the boy sometimes so all us common folk will feel normal!

Amber said...

I can see your Mom in Cole, the chin. She looks happy in the pictures.

Thank you for sharing your story. I can tell you are still hurting from losing her, but you are being strong and doing the right thing by remembering the good times.

You are a gift to those who have the honor of knowing you.